Women Healing Women: Is This Your Time for the Power of Group?

Emotional Eating, Interview with Meryl Hershey Beck
November 5, 2012
Let the Spirit Move
November 12, 2012

When women bond together in a community in such a way

that ‘sisterhood’ is created, it gives them an accepting

and intimate forum to tell their stories

and have them heard and validated by others.

The community not only helps to heal their circumstances,

but encourages them to grow into their larger destiny.

~ Sue Monk Kidd, afterward to The Secret Life of Bees

In 1993, I noticed that some of my women clients were seeking help for similar concerns.

Wanting comfort and understanding, they brought experiences of busy lives juggling work, heath issues and, especially, relationships.

Like most people, they were not mentally ill — even if they felt depressed or anxious, or used the word “crazy.” No, they were dealing with “problems in living.” So why did they invest their precious time and money in therapy?

It turns out that they had some things in common. I wonder if this might also be true for you:

1. You are committed to your own growth.

2. You don’t want to do this alone.

3. You are familiar with the 12-step self-help programs.

4. Something is still missing and you want more.

First, my clients had made a decision to change their lives, usually triggered by pain: A divorce or relationship breakup, the death of a parent, a growing attachment to alcohol or drugs, co-parenting with a hostile ex-partner. Whether they were sucking on cigarettes or parenting by helicopter, feeling victimized in relationship or trapped in a job that fed the family but didn’t nourish their souls, no matter what their individual concern, they knew their patterns and habits did not serve their future. Is anything like this happening for you?

Second, they were around people — kids, partners, co-workers, fellow volunteers on school, church or community projects, friends, family. Yet they felt alone and wanted companionship for their growth.  Is this your experience as well?

Third, my clients had discovered groups that offered something they didn’t get with family and friends. In these gatherings, they could share their pain with others who had experienced their own variation of that pain. Whether it was drinking, drugs, gambling, sex, finances, food or controlling others who had these problems, they had found relief. Some of them were newcomers; others had been participating for years. Some were joyfully committed to their recovery; others were reluctant visitors who didn’t trust the “God” thing, the “powerless” thing or any number of other things. What’s your relationship to your recovery?

Fourth, many of my women clients felt lost. Something was still missing. Meetings, the steps, having sponsors, being sponsors, weren’t bringing them the rewards they wanted or had previously experienced. They were sure that something was wrong with them and that they were destined to relapse. Do you sometimes wonder about this?

Here’s what was true about them — I invite you to tune into your own feelings.  They were ready to benefit from sharing feedback directly with other women, but self-help programs discourage this for a good reason: Great power comes from telling one’s truth and not have anyone else put their spin on it.

So there’s a place for “speaking into the silence.” But there is also power in speaking, listening and responding, especially when you have a guide who manages the spin.

As I listened to them, it seemed they wanted even more anonymity—a place where they could talk, know that their concerns would not go anywhere else, and also learn how others experience who they are. I also heard that they wanted to honor the sacred without being limited by religious beliefs.

I realized they could learn so much more from each other and that I could be their guide. I invited them to come together. For 19 years, incredibly awesome women have participated in the Women Healing Women group, nourished themselves and offered the same to others. They re-enter their own lives more whole, and sometimes they return for replenishment.

Is this your time?  If anything I’ve shared resonates for you, the Women Healing Women process could be for you.  I have limited openings in my face-to-face group, which meets in the San Francisco Bay Area. In 2013 I will be expanding this opportunity to support women online.

Consider this. The Women Healing Women program could be just right for you if

  • You want to add more staying power to your 12-step recovery program
  • Your self-help experience isn’t anonymous enough
  • You want relapse to become a distant memory
  • You want the benefit of balanced cross-talk
  • You want to engage your deeper sources of wisdom

The Women Healing Women in-person group meets in the San Francisco Bay Area.  The Women Healing Women online group begins in January, 2013. Space is limited in each group to enhance your privacy and your growth.

Contact me to request a phone consultation. We will discover together if the Women Healing Women programs can help you add another dimension to your journey in recovery.

Michael Anne Conley
Michael Anne Conley
As a habit change expert, my approach to transforming habits is the result of 30 years experience serving clients who are dealing with all kinds of habits that create problems for themselves and others. (That includes the habit of worrying about someone else's habits!) As a holistic therapist, I've developed a step-by-step process that can help you stop feeling energetically drained, wondering what you're doing wrong or what's wrong with you, and start creating healthy habits that serve you in moving your life where you want to go.

19 Comments

  1. Beautiful post, Michael Ann, I am sure “The Women Healing Women” program will be of tremendous help and a blessing to many women! Congrats!

  2. Sherie says:

    Michael Anne, your women’s group looks like a wonderful community and how exciting that you are going to be expanding this to the online community, as well.

  3. BarbaraJPeters says:

    Being part of a strong group of women can empower you and help you to heal. You are doing great work for other women. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I was really interested in your focus on women’s groups as I spent six months in a 12 step rehab overcoming an alcohol addiction and it was completely group focused. There was no individual counselling at all. From my own experience your post is spot on! A group can offer so much more in terms of feedback, intervention and encouragement. I would say it is much harder than sitting in a one-to -one. I have to admit that one of the biggest relapse prevention motivators for me is the thought of having to go back into ‘group’. It got me sober, it kick started my emotional healing – but I never want to have to do it again!
    Wishing you lots of success!

    • I am so glad to hear this from you, Carolyn. In my own healing journey, group has been the most powerful influence. The unfriendly aspects that I experienced led me to developing ways of leading groups (and teaching group leadership skills) so that women have such a positive experience it leaves them with great satisfaction for themselves and their feelings about group.

  5. Sharon O'Day says:

    … besides, there’s just something so healing and nurturing about a group of open-hearted women. Even if they themselves are in pain. It’s truly a matter of 1 + 1 = 5!

  6. This sounds like a great group for so many women. I am glad you wrote about it, Michael Anne, it gave me more clarity about what you’re offering!

  7. Hi Michael,

    Wonderful to hear about your Women’s groups. I would love to connect with you as I live in the San Francisco Bay area, and would like to learn more about your groups. Great support that is so needed. Take care.

  8. This sounds like a wonderful program and community. I’ll definitely be sharing it on BreakingTheCycles.com.

  9. Terree Rola says:

    Wonderful post Michael Anne! There is definitely a different vibe when you have a gathering of positive like-minded women together working towards the same goal!

  10. Anita says:

    Kudos to you for your work with women, I like nothing better then to spend quality time with positive minded high vibrational women!

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