You Want Me To Stop What???

By Michael Anne Conley, MFT

Almost 13 percent of Californians smoke. That means about 3,000 residents of my town of Lafayette, California.

Every day in China the same number of people – 3,000 – die from illnesses caused by smoking.

And while the number of people who smoke in the US continues to decline, smoking is on the rise in developing countries, especially in Asia, and especially among children and teens.

Do you know a smoker? Are you one of them?

This is a sad and tricky subject that frequently brings up defensiveness, discouragement – and grief.

Defensiveness:  If you are a smoker, you probably got hooked when you were young. It is widely known that the tobacco industry targets teenagers, who are vulnerable to messages that smoking is cool and increases popularity. If this was true for you, it’s not your fault that you got tricked.

Discouragement:  If you smoke, you’ve probably tried to stop. Almost everyone knows the bad news about smoking, and if you’ve been able to stop, but relapsed, or if you’ve tried and never gotten past a day or two without a puff, it’s very discouraging. Nicotine is one of the hardest drug addictions to kick. You are not to blame for trying and not succeeding. You just haven’t found the best way for you – yet.

Grief:  If you smoke, were a smoker or know a smoker, you may be sick or dying. You might know someone who has died or who is dying because of nicotine. Maybe you feel alone in your grief that you couldn’t stop sooner, or that you couldn’t help them stop – or that being around them made you ill. You are not alone.

To stop smoking, you may have tried the many tips, tools and techniques that are out there. Maybe some things worked for you for a while. Maybe you were one of the ones who found your way to freedom from smoking, and you’re reading this because you want to help someone else. Maybe you’re one of the 3,000, and you’re still looking for your way.

For any change that we want to make, there are three types of support. You might respond more successfully to one of them than the others. A terrific resource is smokefree.gov – a cheerful website offering support in engaging ways.

Informational Support

While information alone is not enough, sometimes we do need to learn more. Smokefree.gov has a great resource called “Putting a Stop to Smoky Thinking,”

Tangible Support

We all need practical help. I’m not a fan of pharmaceuticals except in emergency situations or when everything else has been tried. Everything else includes acupuncture or hypnotherapy. For many people these options work. At Stillpoint Center, our health center in Lafayette, we have practitioners who support people with smoking and related issues, face2face or by phone/online. For information, contact us at info@wellnesslafayette.com.

You can also check out smokefree.gov’s text messaging program for 24/7 encouragement.

If you’re in a crisis or you’ve tried everything else, it might be time for medications. Smokefree.gov has information that you can discuss with your physician.

Social/Emotional Support

For some of us, being accountable to others is what gets our feet going. This might include a stop-smoking class. Many governments have programs, because stopping smoking is a major initiative of the World Health Organization.

Another way is to talk to a counselor. In California, you can get text or telephone help  or call The California Smokers Hotline at 1-800-NO BUTTS. Search online for “smoker’s hotline” with your city or country name to find resources close to home. For instance, here’s the smoker’s helpline link in Canada.   In addition, Nicotine Anonymous lists self-help meetings all around the world!  If you prefer private support, an addictions specialist can help you individually. You may be able to find a trustworthy resource by asking people you know who have successfully stopped smoking.  Most people don’t do this alone.

Although it’s not your fault, you probably feel at fault. You can step out of this by taking steps toward a future without smoking. It’s never too late.

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May 31 is World No Tobacco Day 2012. Join me in following this campaign to reduce smoking around the world.